4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize