Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
