dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
