Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You ate ashes out of my bong
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
