You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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