I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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