It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize