the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
