why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
