Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize