The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize