Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize