just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
