Well apparently he's into motor boating.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
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This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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