no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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