If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
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Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
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oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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