so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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