she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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