yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
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Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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