is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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