Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
