We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
