I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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