that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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