Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
