I skipped work to stalk him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
