Its about making memories worth repressing
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
