i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
