I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
