Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
