I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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