I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize