Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
