Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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