She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
