Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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