Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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