Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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