i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
