let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
