planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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