I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
