i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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