wanna go halves on a baby?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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