I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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