my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
