Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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