Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
