Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
