note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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