Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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