u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
