i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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